MIA

Sorry, folks. Have been on vaca - both literally and mentally.

Eating has been better since my first OA meeting. I am conscious of my binges when they are started and am starting to identify the feelings that propel me into one.

I will be seeing a nutritionist this coming Friday to get me started down a healthy vegan path. Will keep you all posted on what I find out!

Happy Eating,
The VP

My First OA Meeting

I did it! I went to my first Overeater's Anonymous meeting last night.

The speaker said so many things that resonated with me. Like I do now, she used to used food as a way to "numb out." She was embarrassed to let anyone else know how much she ate, so hid it. She would eave dinner with her friend where she'd eat a salad, and go home and binge on junk food. She would sometimes have 2 lunches, 3 dinners. She was close to 200 pounds and wore sweat pants and pajamas most of the time. She came into her first OA meeting 9 years ago, and hasn't "relapsed" with a binge since.

It never really occurred to me that you can NOT eat like that for a full week, let alone 9 years. She must weigh 115 pounds, if that. In fact, I was shocked to find that only one woman of the group of 10 was overweight, and she claimed she had just come back to "the rooms" after a 3 year relapse. Many of the girls introduced themselves as bulimics, anorexics, or "restricters" on top of their qualifications as compulsive eaters. I guess it's all as simple as this: everyone in the room has issues with food.

So, last night I didn't binge :) I ate my dinner - a baked potato and corn on the cob with a handful of grapes for dessert - and I went to bed, knowing I would be able to eat again in the morning.

Hi, I'm The VP. I'm a compulsive overeater. I have 2 days.

Oh, The Horror!

Hmmm, wonderful. My trusty, always-fit-me, size-12, guaranteed-look-good black pants DIDN'T zipper this morning. This is bad.

Something has to be done. Tonight I am going to my first OA meeting. 5:30pm. Hopefully posting this here will hold me accountable and I'll actually go...

The VP

Fridays can be scary.

Fridays can be scary.

Since I quit drinking almost two years ago, Fridays have adopted a different feeling than they used to hold. I still look forward to the end of a week of work, but there is also a little tickle of anxiety as I think about spending the night alone.

I say "alone" because, let's face it - My drinking friends just don't come calling on this nondrinker on Fridays anymore. This is fine. I somewhat enjoy the idea of winding down the work week in a quiet manner - Reading? Watching a movie? Going to the gym? Anything other than getting plastered in a bar.

Yet, I still want to feel that "freedom" of getting plastered like I used to on Fridays. I want to feel that total abandonment, that lack of control. I want to exercise bad judgment and wash all of the stress away by indulging... and that indulgence has become FOOD.

I don't WANT to devour an entire bag of pretzels with hummus and a pint of soy ice cream AFTER I've already eaten dinner. But I don't know how to stop. It has become a habit - one that I both love and hate.

How do I stop a binge when it's coming full speed ahead?

Wish me luck,
The VP

Out of Control

So, I'd be remiss if I didn't blog a bit about my struggles with food - and not just the typical struggle with non-vegan ingredients.

I am - and have been for as long as I can remember - a compulsive overeater. Photos of me throughout my life are a testament to this. It's hard to pinpoint what year any given picture was taken based on how I looked; I've weighed close to 200 lbs within the same year I've weighed 140. And even 140 isn't thin on my 5'2 frame.

I'm somewhere in the middle now. And while I'm ok and feel hopeful that veganism will eventually help me reach a healthy weight without depriving myself of too much. However, deprivation and exercising discipline are two very different things, and I'll admit I rarely participate in either.

I've been reading about caloric intakes, what's normal and what's not. Finding that I should be eating about 2,000 calories per day, I've started tracking what I eat. Not only does it NOT help me, but I become completely overwhelmed and find myself binging at the end of the day because "I'd already screwed up the day, so why not??"

Today, for instance - it is merely 11:30 am and I've already devoured 850 calories. So I panic. I think "how am I going to make it through lunch or dinner with only 1150 calories?" And miraculously I begin feeling hungry again. I know it can't be real - I can't TRULY be hungry - I just ate a banana, a bagel, jelly, blackberries, and mixed nuts in the last two hours. But what is it that triggers me to want more food? Emotions?? Even if I can pinpoint what it is that makes me eat, how do I change it? What can I do?

Unfortunately, I don't have an answer. But below are the signs of a compulsive eating disorder. I meet every... single... one:

-Binge eating
-Continuing to eat, even when you're full
-Eating rapidly during binge episodes
-Not able to control eating and thoughts of eating
-Feeling depressed, disgusted or upset about your eating
-Feelings of no self control while overeating
-Uncomfortable eating in public, or with others
-Chronic dieting
-Believing that life will be better when they lose weight
-Withdrawing from activities because of embarrassment about weight
-Social and professional failures attributed to weight
-Feeling tormented and trapped by eating habits
-Weight feels like focus in life
-Mood swings. Depression. Fatigue.
-Insomnia. Poor Sleeping Habits.

Not So Happy Eating,

The VP

Delish.

Vegan Beginner's Guide

Here's a decent Vegan beginner's guide: http://www.exploreveg.org/resources/vsk.html

Piggy's First Post!

Well, if you're reading this post, my bet is that it's been awhile since it was written... I'm assuming I won't have visitors swarming my blog right off the bat. In any case, thanks for stopping by! This blog is intented to share information about a vegan diet.

It's been about 3 months since my decision to cut out animal byproducts completely. My reasons? Too many. Mostly I want to practice what I believe in - existing on this earth without harming anyone or anything in the process.

In addition to the ethical aspect of my venture, I have to admit I was curious about the effects the vegan diet would have on my body. I've noticed a few things:
- I'm much less fatigued during the day, and no longer find the need for caffeine in the afternoon.
- I have a great deal of energy when I wake up in the morning. In the past I used to have to down a few cups of coffee before doing anything even similar to functioning.
- My skin is clearer.
- I've lost 10 pounds.

Though I've been trying my best to make a clean transition from a lacto-ovo diet, I am still surprised when I find out something I thought was "safe" to eat actually includes animal derivatives.

I'll start off by mentioning a few ingredients to avoid if you're striving for VEGAN living. I've pulled these from a great article I stumbled across here - http://www.exploreveg.org/resources/ingredients.html. Some nonvegan ingredients worth mentioning are:
Casein
Whey
Gelatin
Any ingredient with -stear- in its name
Glycerides, including glycerin and almost any ingredient with -glycer- in its name

What about you? Got tips?

Happy Eating,
The VP