Binge Day

Another binge day yesterday. I can't properly explain it- I'm not hungry but I literally cannot stop myself. I feel my whole body tense up as if I need to feed that feeling. It's like craving a drink or a cigarette. That's how I need food when I'm in the middle of a binge. And since I've quit smoking (2 months and 3 days!) and drinking (over 2 years ago).

Anyway, today so far I seem to be ok. I'm being kind to myself. I am in the middle of Geneen Roth's "Why Weight?" and I can tell it WILL help me if I am able to stick to the damn guidelines. They are simple, but one seems completely impossible - stopping eating when you're not hungry. This is so foreign to me! I literally CAN NOT STOP once I start.

Why Weight?

Two nights ago, I started Geneen Roth's "Why Weight?" workbook after reading "When Food Is Love" and having it open up my mind to the deep-rooted and DISTURBING reasons that I use food in the way that I do. The real cause of my overeating was a total shock to me and difficult to acknowledge, but I know I'm just experiencing growing pains - and I look forward to what will come at the end of this growth spurt!

Low Carb Vegan Diet Interview

LOVED this article. I'd like to start adhering to a similar diet. I'll try to keep 3 servings of fruit in mind (I tend to overdo it with the fruit!) and surrender to the cost of buying fresh veggies everyday.

http://lowcarbdiets.about.com/od/vegetarian/a/veganlowcarb.htm

Vegan Stuffing Recipe!

First, let me apologize for being completely MIA for over 2 weeks. I was battling some SERIOUS flu and couldn't even handle thinking, let alone writing. But thankfully I'm 100% healed and back in effect!

This weekend I made a vegan stuffing that was TO DIE FOR.... enjoy ;)

VEGAN STUFFING

1 cup chopped onions

2 cups chopped celery

1 cup chopped carrots

1 lb sliced mushrooms

3 cloves garlic, grated

2 tbsp dried parsley

Black Pepper, to taste

1 1/2 c. Vegetable Broth

1 large bread loaf

INSTRUCTIONS

Heat onions, celery, mushrooms, spices, and broth in a large pot until it all boils. Simmer about 5-10 minutes or until the chopped onions are translucent. Cool for 10 mintues.

Tear the bread loaf into small bits and add to pot. Mix well, adding broth if necessary for moisture. Place in a covered baking dish and cook at 350° for 30 minutes, taking cover off during last 10-15 minutes to crisp top.

So Close!

ARGH - almost made it. 34:11 today. It was a HARD one, too. Maybe because I ate a ton of pretzels about an hour before my workout, and totally forgot to stretch. Hmm?

My knees are killing me and I've got painful blisters on the balls of my feet. Tomorrow I'll take the day off from running (I think) since I have an appointment with my trainer.

And it could totally be my imagination, but is my waist getting smaller??

Lovin the challenge,
The VP

5K Update

Ran 5K again at lunch today and brought it down to 34:30! Can I shave it down to 34:00 tomorrow?

A 30 minute runtime seems a loooooooooooooong way away.

My First 5K Run

So I completed my first 5K run. It was by myself, on the treadmill, and during my lunch hour, but 5K nonetheless. I ran it in 37:18. That is NOT an admirable time by any means, but I'm accepting it as my starting point. From here on out, I can push myself to just keep building my endurance and getting better, stronger, and quicker.

My short-term goal is to run 5K in 34 minutes.

My long-term goal is to get it in 30.

Hopefully this blog will keep me motivated enough to commit and not let it die. I CAN do this!

Raw Revolution Bars

You MUST try these! Delicious and filling, like a brownie. All of the RawRev bars are great but the Chocolate & Coconut are my favorite.

I wrote the folks here to tell them how much I loved it, and they responded right away with genuine gratitude. Great customer service? Even better!

Check 'em out:
http://www.rawindulgence.com/

Soda Cake

Anyone on a diet is about to LOVE me for sharing this... On WW, each slice is ONE POINT!

Mix one box of powder cake mix with one full can of diet soda (any kind) instead of the oil and eggs, then bake it per the instructions on the box.

I tried it when I got home last night with Devil's Food cake mix and diet pepsi - DELICIOUS! My coworker said she did it with a Black Forrest cake mix and diet black cherry soda. Next I want to try Angel's Food cake with diet orange soda.

Couldn't you just DIE?!??!
The VP

I'm Addicted to Food and I Don't Know How to Stop

I can't stop. Last night was the worst it's been in awhile. At one point I actually couldn't breathe. My heart rate was quickened and I kept having to get up to almost throw up. But I kept right on coming back to the food....

I just feel so ashamed. I saw my reflection in the subway window today and besides appearing bloated from everything I shoved down my throat yesterday, there was a look of desperation. Like - no one knows this secret about me. These people would be appalled if they knew what I'd done last night.

I ate:
3/4 of a loaf of Irish sodabread (not even vegan) smothered in earth balance.
An entire bag of salted organic popcorn. When I say bag, I mean a regular family-sized bag.
About 20 Newman's Own vegan cookies.
1/2 a pint of Soy ice cream (I usually eat the whole thing without a problem but fell asleep while it sat on my nightstand - it is through no will of my own that I didn't finish the whole thing).

I'm sick today. I feel awful. I can feel my belly move when I walk. All I want to do is cry.

I don't know how to stop.

Nighttime Eating

I've been at it again...

The overeating. The binges. The multiple dinners. The carbs. The not-even-close-to-Vegan junk. I am OUT of FrEAKing conTROL.

I can't seem to go more than 12 hours without craving fried food or ice cream or crap of some sort, and justifying it by saying "I'll start over tomorrow." Then I do start over tomorrow. And then night comes...

For some reason, night is a trigger for me. I love sitting in my bed, catching up on DVR, and eating myself sick with comfort food.

I joined WW online. I've done it before. This cycle will never end, will it?

Sick (both physically and mentally),
The VP

Running Playlist

So, I'm consistently running about 16 minutes every day. After that I either get bored or just can't physically keep going. However, I LOVE the first 10 minutes of running or so. It's almost like dancing ;) My current running playlist is:

Sweet Dream - Beyonce
Louboutins - J.Lo
Sexy Chick - David Guetta w/ Akon
Im'ma Shine - YoungBloodz
All the Above - Beanie Sigel & R. Kelly
Evacuate the Dancefloor - Cascade
Go! - Common
When the Lights Go Out - Foxy Brown
Party and Bullsh*t - Biggie
Bulletproof - Foxy Brown
Lighters Up - Lil Kim
Green Light - John Legend
The Sound of Violence - Cassius
Chelsea - Stefy

Enjoy!
The VP

Sweet Potato and Cinnamon Fries Recipe

Mmmm, yes please!

http://sarahscucinabella.com/2008/01/22/oven-baked-sweet-potato-fries/

Paralyzed

OH


MY


GOD.

The pain today when I woke up was unbelievable. I couldn't bend my legs, couldn't even get comfortable while LYING DOWN!

I somehow got to work (very slowly - it took me an extra 10 minutes because I could only manage walking at a snail's pace). I mainly sat at my desk all morning and heaved and ho'd everytime I had to cross my legs, tie my shoe, get up to go to the bathroom.

And I was REALLY nervous about going to my second training session during lunch, because I didn't know if I'd be able to actually move at all. Funny - my trainer didn't care! He laughed it off and started me warming up with 200 crunches. When I realized I wasn't going to get any sympathy, I just bucked up and starting working. It was a great session and not only has the pain somewhat subsided just by moving my muscles, but I also feel energized and excited to get back to him next week.

Next session is a full week from today... I hope I can motivate myself (and remember whatever the heck we did) enough to keep it up until then!

Ouch!

So, I went to my first session with my new personal trainer last night. It was great! He gave me a full hour and we did old school stuff that I haven't done in years - sit ups, lunges, squats, push ups, etc. I forgot those things worked! I am so gloriously sore today.

I'm a little nervous about how to keep it up when I don't have him pushing me every step of the way. Unfortunately, it's too expensive to afford more than one 1/2 hour session each week.

If anyone is reading this who has worked with a personal trainer in this way before, please share your experience with me. I want to be reassured that I'm not wasting the money on a 1/2 hour per week workout!

Can't walk,
The VP

Yeah, baby!

I just ran for 16 minutes straight at 5.5!!! That was new! I wish I could say what was different this time, but I really can't. I was happy with a few great songs in a row on my playlist, maybe that was it?

Bored to be Buff

Have another run planned this evening. I'm up to 3 minute intervals after 2 minutes of walking, for a total of 30 minutes. Once I ran 8 minutes in a row at a speed of 5.5 and haven't been able to do it since.

I keep doing it for the Runner's High, but God, I get so booooorrrrrrrrrrrrred most times.

Bored to be Buff,
The VP

Fat and Frumpy

Well, that last post was a crock. I still haven't worked out.............



At all...............



Since Saturday.



And I've been maintaining life on a diet of chips and candy for an entire week now. My legs were actually SWOLLEN last night from the salt and sugar. Sweatpants that literally fell off of me to the ground the last time I put them on actually fit like a glove last night. Scratch that - they were tight. I holed myself in bed at 6pm and ate until I fell asleep. What's with the self-sabotage? It had been awhile. I guess I thought I as cured.

I feel like mush. I started back on the right track today and am hoping to get to the gym tonight, but God, I'm defeated. By no one but myself :(

Fat and frumpy,
The VP

Candy Mask

Sooooo sorry for the lag, folks. I couldn't stop enjoying my week and 1/2 long vacation long enough to write!

So, running is going well. Dropped the speed down to 5.5 the other day and ran for 8 minutes straight. Epic for me! I also tried a yoga class. It wasn't too difficult to get through (besides ignoring the flighty language and dippy instructor while trying to concentrate on the moves) but I was so sore for the following two days, in a wonderful, wonderful way. I'll definitely try it again, though running is where it's at for me right now.

Went right back on the carbs at Christmas and ate, oh, I dunno... like 89 crackers and 7 dinner rolls. Did a little better during the week and then flubbed up at New Years again and ate soooooo much candy. I have to say, I don't feel heavier per say, but my skin is atrocious. It's enough to make me stick to fruits and veggies, nuts and beans all the time. The added sugar of the candy just put my complexion in a bad place, and my energy is shot from all the complex carbs.

So I want to take tonight off from the gym (I took yesterday off too so this is a risky game)
because I have to unpack, food shop, and set a serious facial mask of some sort to get rid of these pimples. So, I'll allow myself this, and will hit the gym every day for the rest of the week. Deal? Deal.

Happiest of New Years!
The VP